Boo! I’m Ghosting You
The fundamentals of ghosting:
Begin by cutting the person off, no more texts, calls, snaps, but ensure to leave them on all forms of social media so it’s clear you’re just ignoring them. How charming of you, asshole. This is not where it ends though, ensure the moment you begin ignoring the person you were just sleeping around with, that you post a story or picture on social media. Include the opposite sex in there for safe measures. Now, get ready for the wave of phone calls and text messages – Here comes the crazy. Is it crazy though? Is it crazy to think, what the fuck just happened?
I am not saying it’s not okay to ghost someone. If your first date went horribly, and you never want to speak to that person again, ghost. If you were completely insulted by the way someone treated you, ghost. If you never met the person, and you never want to, ghost. Even if you are content with the person, the first date went really well, but you just don’t feel like pursuing it any longer for whatever reason, go ahead – ghost. However, lucky for you, this isn’t about the times people ghosted correctly, this is about all the terrible ghost stories you actually want to read.
Now, you not-so-friendly-ghosts it’s time to tell some ghost stories.
This first story is the story all about how I ghosted a guy and his life turned upside down.
“I had started going on a couple of dates with this guy. We were just starting to get to know each other, and it was pretty casual. However, one evening we were on a date and he started talking about our future children, and how we were going to get married. I had known this guy, in all, about 76 hours. He had moved from ‘I like cats too’ to ‘Let’s get married’ so quickly, that I thought I had to have miss heard him. This strange mention of being together forever carried on throughout the date. He walked me to my car, and before I could buckle in my seat-belt his number was blocked. Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough, as he managed to message me on all forms of social media, including LinkedIn.” – Felicia, 25.
Let me tell you about this awkward encounter.
“I was seeing a guy for three months. Things were going great. We had amazing conversations, an energetic vibe, and incredible sex. BUT things got weird one evening when I found a butt plug in his bathroom. Long story short, he was really into using butt plugs on himself when jacking off. I was so not into it. I asked him what was up with his little toy, and he confirmed my worst fears to be true. I felt rather awkward about the situation, and ended up never speaking to him again.” – Mary, 29.
Tinder caused me to relive my ghosting situation.
“I always put the guys I meet from Tinder under the letter “T” as their last name. One guy I matched with, Chase, went to a bar with me as our first date, we didn’t hit it off and I ghosted him. However, he kept texting me and I bluntly ignored him. Not too long after that, I added another Chase T. [Which was his actual name] into my contact list. We had plans to go out one evening, and I texted the Tinder Chase T. about our plans on accident. To state it frankly, Tinder Chase was fucking pissed.” – Kaitlyn, 22.
Whisky dick kills dreams.
“I was crushing on this guy hard Spring semester junior year. He was in one of my classes. The last weekend of the semester we finally started talking at the bar, the next day we get to talking on messenger. I did what we’re all told to do – played the waiting game and kept it cool as we got to know one another. Time ticks on, and we move to texting. That’s when the game went out the window. We both were sending book like texts, telling each other deep stuff, we had a TON in common. Around the two-month mark – poof. Gone. Nine days later, I got the balls to message him ‘hey, how have you been?’ A few more texts here and there, then gone forever. WTF?! School starts and yep you guessed it, we hooked up. Yet, your girl didn’t get a home run. Maybe too much time on second base (on his part) and being nearly blacked out, mister ghoster couldn’t keep anywhere near up. Dreams ruined. We also got walked in on. We didn’t speak ever again after that.” – Stephanie, 23.
Some times the friend zone isn’t even a far enough category to put someone in.
“I went to an event with my friend, as his date. He had liked me for a while, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about him, yet. We had a great time, and a lot of liquor. I ended up sleeping with him. It was honestly the worst sex I had ever had. To make matters even more awful, in the middle of sex he yelled, “FINALLY, I MADE IT OUT OF THE FRIEND ZONE!” Unfortunate to say, I literally left without even letting the poor guy finish, and never said another word to him again.” – Anonymous.
The date that never returned.
“A while back my [now husband] boyfriend and I decided that before we got married, we would try dating other people. We wanted to ensure we were not missing out on anything before committing to forever. Essentially, we were in an open relationship. I started dating a guy, who became head-over-heels-in-love with me. It was nice to have him around, since my boyfriend was off finishing school in another state. I had some great company to keep myself busy. It was nice dating him, but I wasn’t super into him. I was always honest with him about the situation I was in. Well, he confessed his love to me one evening, and I reminded him that I enjoyed dating him but I wasn’t in love with him. The next day after lunch, we went back to my place. He told me he was going to get something really quick, and he disappeared forever, I seriously never heard from him again. It sure is taking him a long time to get something really quick…” – Ashley, 25.
I got called out in my DMs.
“This one time I was in a small town named Normal, IL. I matched with this girl, Felicia, and then three days later….” – Caleb, 25.
Lesson Learned: Chill Casper, ghosting shouldn’t always be your first option. Learn the difference of when ghosting makes sense, and when it is just a cowardly move.
