Balance & Boundaries

Let’s break it down

Balance in a healthy relationship is about being equal partners and making sure that you’re both feeling comfortable and supported. It is also about making sure there’s independence.

This is also where boundaries come in to play.

Boundaries are communicated structured behaviors you will or will not accept from others. These boundaries include physical and emotional boundaries that provide you comfort, personal space, and privacy. Without balance & boundaries relationships become one-sided and unhealthy. Balance & boundaries should take place in all relationships, not just romantic ones.

How do you set balance & boundaries?

To begin, you should learn what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior to you. This is key here, think about what’s not working for YOU and you alone.

Do you constantly feel uncomfortable by a behavior your partner is displaying? Is your partner’s behavior or comments hurtful and disrespectful? Do you feel belittled by the actions your partner is displaying? Are you constantly repeating yourself, during an argument, about behaviors you don’t accept?

If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, you may want to restructure the balance & boundaries within your relationship, as your wants and needs are not being met.

How to open the conversation about balance & boundaries without it turning into an argument.

You should express your concerns and wants to your partner. Having an open line of communication is important, but sometimes easier said than done.

Start slow, build up your courage by writing down your thoughts on paper or in a journal. Having a practice that allows you to express how you are feeling without anybody else’s input can help narrow down what is happening within your relationship without feeling the pressure from other’s opinions.

Another option is by practicing out-loud. Saying how you feel allows you to verbally get it off your chest and puts it into the universe. Sometimes just speaking out-loud turns our thoughts into a reality and in turn makes us more confident addressing them.

Try different scenarios alone to better prepare how you will handle them if they come up with your partner.

Practice “I” statements. If you know your partner might feel defensive when the conversation takes place ensure to steer away from “you” statements. Many times, “you” statements come off as attacking the other person. Instead try using verbiage that expresses how you are feeling. For example. “I feel very sad when I hear rude words because they hurt my feelings.”

Ensure to also pause to let your partner speak. A conversation must take place to grow together.

Try talking to loved ones about how you’re feeling and ask for their feedback on how you can express your emotions in a calm manner to your partner. If you are feeling extremely anxious or unsafe talking with your partner it’s important to recognize this and seek professional help, or to walk away from the relationship.

You should never fear a person you are allowing in your life. Remember, we pick who we let in and if they deserve to stay, and we don’t have to choose abuse.

Once you have the conversation, it’s important to follow through.

You’ve defined your balance & boundaries to yourself, you’ve communicated these balance & boundaries to your partner, now you must ensure your partner meets your balance & boundaries from here on out.

If your partner respects you they will not revert to behavior that hurts you. If you notice this is occurring ensure to voice it right away. However, never stick around to watch the cycle continue.

You are brave, deserving, and worthy, if someone can’t see that please adjust your crown and move forward without them. Never adjust your own comfort for someone else.

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