Me, Myself & I

How to achieve alone time when in a relationship.

Have you ever heard the term, date yourself? I used to do it all the time while I was single. It’s the idea that you take a day all to yourself. If you’re like me that day includes a big glass of red wine, and some very quiet alone time. It’s the day I spend thinking about myself and myself alone. Taking time to read a book I bought 3 months ago, write a blog article for the week, or just zone out and turn on Friends. But when you get into a relationship, it’s hard to find that night all alone. It becomes even harder once you live with your partner. You suddenly are juggling someone else’s feelings, time, schedule, wants, needs, your job, your social life, maybe a pet, bills, date nights, etc. But hear me out, fit the time into your schedule; it’s so important to remember who you are as an individual alone.

Why?

Well, for the obvious reason, sometimes shit happens. But also, for the not-so-obvious reasons, like keeping yourself accountable for your goals. Reflecting on how you are doing. Taking a moment to decompress from everything and everyone. Taking time to love yourself. Remembering your passions. Doing what you think is best for you. Remembering your wants and needs without any extra voices mixed in – loved ones can be a huge influence on your everyday decisions. Sometimes, we forget to think for just ourselves.

I haven’t even told you what the best part about this – there is nothing selfish about taking time for yourself once a week. Talk to your partner and express to them that you need some time to reflect on you and you alone. Encourage them to do the same. It is one of the healthiest routines I have ever made. Soon you will stop saying things such as, “I don’t have time to (read that book) (learn guitar) (breathe)”. You’ll start incorporating those important aspects back into your life.

Make time for the things that matter. Because you matter.