One Step Forward Two Steps Back – The Dance of Life

Sometimes no matter how many steps you take forward you end up taking some back too. I found myself feeling a bit backwards this week.

I think you don’t know who you are until who you are is all that you know. Where every face is unfamiliar, and every place is new. It feels like I was running away from every part of my life that was a gray zone just to crash into a different shade of gray.

It’s unfair to compare an old life to a new one, but that’s what I keep doing this week. I look back on photos and memories that are just that and I wonder if I made a mistake. I’ve made new friends and memories in this new life too, but they hold a different weight. I had my first big cry, the other day, since moving here 3 weeks ago, but instead of looking at it as a sign of weakness I try to remind myself it’s a sign of change. My heart is healing, my doors are opening, my world is expanding, and these are growing pains.

Uncertain and lost yet finding my way.

I have to remind myself that I was never meant to be her; she was the compromised version of who I’m about to become. The girl I left behind was terrified of being alone, she needed company at all costs. She was a people pleaser and stuck on the way others viewed her. Although, she has a beautiful heart it needed some strength behind it. This new girl I’m becoming will no longer be the same person as before. You see, we change after heartbreak, and I broke my whole damn heart to get where I am today.

I may not know where this new adventure will take me, but I know it’s an adventure well worth taking.

I’ve already laughed so hard my eyes watered; danced around bar floors with strangers; met new friends who make me feel included; watched sunsets on the beaches of Sanibel Island; circled quiet bookstores with napping kittens; felt the way the ocean salt kisses my lips; watched a night turn into a memory before my eyes; taken myself on dinner dates; and felt the joy of a single moment before it ended.

I know I’ll be just fine.

Although sometimes we take a step backwards it’s only to remind us of why we took the first step forward in the first place.

The Longest Lesson – Lessons of an Empowered Woman Written By: Felicia Kopec