Red Flags & Run

Have you ever wondered, how you ended up being the person dating the jerk? You begin by seeing someone you think is so great, but by the end of the relationship you realize they are the biggest asshole. How could you not see it before? Here are 10 red flags to look out for in the beginning of the relationship. If you see these, run.

1.They can’t compromise.

This is the first big red flag to be aware of. If the person you are seeing cannot compromise with you, they are going to be terrible to date. If it is one person’s way or the highway situation, someone is going to be consistently bending over backwards to keep the other happy, and eventually become miserable. This includes, finding time that works well for both people. Traveling to see one another if necessary. Making an effort to see each other’s point of views. Staying conscious of one another’s likes and dislikes. Being a self-centered brat won’t get anyone very far in the long run. This shouldn’t be an argument, if someone doesn’t want to make the effort – dump them.

2. Lack of trust.

Many people will call this “baggage”. However, I call this deflective arguing. This is when one person in the relationship is constantly looking for a reason not to trust the other person. Honestly, the controlling one is probably the one that’s hiding something. They need control over every and all situations. They are always trying to break into your phone to check-in on you. They stop by unannounced to “see what you’re up to”. Usually, they pick fights out of thin air about something that you “could do to them”. Example, “why do you look so nice, why are you trying to impress other people? Are you going to cheat on me?!”. This isn’t love, this is unhealthy. Get out as quickly as possible.

3. They say all their exes are “crazy”.

Easy, they are actually crazy and you need to get the fuck out. There are probably good reasons their “crazy” exes left.

4. They don’t have time.

My favorite excuse, “I am just busy and don’t have time right now”. Great – goodbye. Do not settle for this excuse. If someone wants to be with you, they will make the time. I promise you what this excuse really means – I don’t feel like making the effort for you, but don’t mind keeping you around for when it’s convenient for me. Get out of this situation. Last minute “dates” at their house. Ignoring you by text but snap chatting you. Loose plans to keep you hooked, but never settling on a date or time. Texting or calling you every few days or weeks. Stop wasting your energy on someone who is showing you they just don’t care enough to be with you.

5. Their attitude is always changing.

Like a flip of a switch you are dating someone completely different. You never know what will set them off today. Stop walking on egg shells and bolt out of there.

6. They rush into a relationship with you.

This screams that they are super clingy, or are afraid to be alone. Either way, take your time getting to know someone and make sure you want to be with them before diving into a serious relationship. You should enjoy the process of dating. If you are feeling rushed, or forced into something you are not ready for, you will continue to feel like you are being suffocated by the other person the entire way through.

7. They hide their relationship with you.

No, they are not just taking things slowly, this is different than taking the time to get to know someone. This is the situation where you can’t be seen in public with your partner. Why is this? They have a main man/woman and you are their side piece. I am sorry to be the one to break that news to you.

8. They never apologize.

*Backs up slowly*.

9. They are incredibly sensitive & always need reassurance

If every tiny thing you say to them makes them “upset” you two will never be able to talk about the important and difficult situations. Having to coddle an adult through a relationship isn’t cute.

10. They make jokes at your expense

Not funny, next.

Lesson Learned: Don’t ignore red flags when you see them. Red flags are the biggest indicator that you are absolutely wasting your time with someone who isn’t worth it. Drop that jerk.