Somethings Take Time to Digest
I’ve taken quite a bit of time off from writing. From sharing my story with everyone, from being so – public.
I needed time, time to be private – to have some moments to myself. And it’s been weird, it’s been strange, it’s been…hard? I don’t know if that’s the right word.
I get up everyday and I do what I’m told will make me feel good. I make my bed; I work-out; I drink my water; I eat healthy; I laugh with friends; I thrive in my job; I sleep well; I pray; I go outside in the sunshine; yet I don’t feel super great.
I feel like I’ve amped up this journey for myself to the point where I expected this huge change to transform me completely. However, I’ve settled back into old routines and life feels exactly the way it did when I lived in Chicago.
That’s not what I wanted from this, I wanted something more, I wanted change – real change where things felt different.
I needed to take a moment to digest that reality for myself.
The surface thought is that I thought moving would make things better, and when it didn’t it frustrated me. But I think the subconscious thought is that it’s not moving that frustrates me it’s the fact that I may need to do more healing than I thought.
I need to meet myself where I am today and accept the fact that I’m not where I thought I would be by this point, so I can work on building the life I dream of having.
I did really brave things in 2021 and I’m bold & strong but I also fall into patterns of comfort due to fear. I can’t work on those pieces of me without accepting the fact that they’re apart of me.
Feeling safe is important to me, so I need to ensure that I know how to take steps forward that are scary while also feeling safe within myself. And that’s a process of self-love.
Someone recently said to me “fake it until you make it is just about showing up as the person you want to become every day until you become that person.”
Right now, I’m accepting where I am but I’m showing up for myself to become the woman I want to be.
She’s a writer, and she doesn’t wait around for anyone to do amazing things with her. She’s secure enough, within herself, to do them on her own. She doesn’t let her life become a boring routine she ensures her life is a beautiful adventure.
Thank you for being here, growing and learning lessons with me as I become her.
The Longest Lesson – Lesson’s of an Empowered Woman is written by: Felicia Kopec
