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Not Everything is an Ending Sometimes it’s a Beginning
The human brain loves an ending, that’s why when something ends abruptly we tend to analyze it over and over again trying to make sense of the situation that only has a middle. Those memories stick out so sharply in our brains while the others that concluded fade into the background. I’ve spent a lot of time in this last year and a half trying to make sense of situations that ended in the middle of their story. Many times, I ended them myself, uprooting and rearranging my life as I’ve shared so many times before. Other times people ended them for me, in relationships; situationships; and friendships. A friend…
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I’m Moving (again)!
months; from the friends I’ve made; from the home I know; from the small community I’ve built around myself.
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Somethings Take Time to Digest
I feel like I’ve amped up this journey for myself to the point where I expected this huge change to transform me completely. However, I’ve settled back into old routines and life feels exactly the way it did when I lived in Chicago.
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What 2021 Taught Me a Long the Way
Here is to the woman I’m going to be in 2022. May she be well dressed, successful, glowing, and happy.
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Twelve Ways I Changed My Mindset
I got tired of waking in the mirror and immediately lifting up my shirt to see how flat my stomach looked that morning. I was tired of my clothes feeling snug across my thighs or crying because I couldn’t stop comparing myself to women on Instagram. I constantly felt lost and aggravated that my life felt like it was at a stand-still and I didn’t know what forward looked like. I found forward.
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It’s Time to Celebrate the Beginnings
I've had a lot of silent battles I’ve been hurdling these last few months. I’ve wiped my own tears and comforted myself in dark moments. I lost and gained and lived through so many different highs and lows throughout this journey. I built and layered the skin that lays across my bones to be tough and brave and humble.
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I am not my Pain and Neither are You
My whole perspective has been what I was losing, what I left behind. But I’ve gained so much, I’ve built a life for myself that I promised I would. I achieved a goal I was so afraid to face. I’m doing exactly what I promised myself I’d do for years. And none of that means I don’t get to miss my old life or hurt when those memories crash in, but it’s time to let the pain go from overwhelming the beauty of everything else.
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Moving to a New State has Taught Me More Than I Could Have Ever Imagined
I’ve been incredibly vulnerable, honest, and true to myself. I’ve poured my heart out and have had it smashed to pieces. I’ve learned some incredibly difficult lessons. I understand the value of time spent with someone, when to hold my tongue and listen, and when to speak up if I’m uncomfortable. I’ve learned what I want out of my life, who I want to be, and what I will no longer tolerate. I’ve started therapy and learned mourning my old life is normal. I’ve grown and changed but still pieces of me remain the same.
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Do Yourself a Favor and Check-in on Yourself Often
Screw trying to follow some perfect order of life that isn’t even real. Screw feeling bad because I’m single at 27, and not knowing what I want to do in my career path, and for still learning about where I want to live so I move a lot. Screw staying in relationships that aren’t right for me or holding back about still feeling sad that something good ended BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS REALLY FREAKING SAD. Screw waiting for someone else to bring you flowers, buy yourself the fucking roses. Screw any negative expectation that is holding you back, because you’re exactly where you should be.
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Month Three – It’s About Following Your Intuition
Moving here has been the bravest most challenging thing I’ve done for myself. I walked into a new life not knowing the friends I would meet or the roots I would plant here but I went anyways into the unknown. A type of courage, a type of pain. There is still so much to discover and still parts of me to understand completely. Yet, I know now I’ll be just fine with whatever is thrown my way because I move intuitively.