The Gray Zone

Children are always in hurry to grow up, and I was one of those children.

I remember thinking life happened in five major stages: First stage, high school; next, college; third would come marriage; and then of course babies; and finally, death. But nobody prepared me for all the in-between stages. The gray zone areas of my life I like to call them.

The time in my life after college but not even close to getting married. The times I have to spend getting to know myself, picking out a career, and learning dating is an actual nightmare. The between moments where new friends are hard to make, and old friends are precious gifts to hold onto. Where babies are cute, but a pet is better suited for my lifestyle right now. Nobody prepared me for these periods in my life that weren’t black or white but gray.

These gray periods are the one’s where I wasn’t sure if I should take chances or stay grounded. The moments where I felt like I was failing because I didn’t have a husband – let alone a boyfriend, or my dream job, or the perfect place to live yet. I consistently wanted to take risks but feared I’d be screwing up my whole life. But here’s the thing about the gray zone, it’s there for you to screw up. It’s there for you to be confused and wild and young.

If I could share one insight to younger twenty-year old’s it’s don’t be in such a rush to plan out your life, because your plans are going to blow up in your face regardless of how articulately you plan them out. Be a little reckless, don’t wish away the confusing parts of your life – it’s where the magic happens. Don’t worry about the feelings you’re going to hurt, or the people you’re going to miss because life has a funny way of keeping the right people in your life and removing the others regardless of where you end up.

I am now learning that as afraid as I was about not having everything figured out right now, I should be more afraid of not going after everything I ever wanted. So, choose yourself, pick yourself over and over again, even if it breaks your own heart and scares the crap out of you. Pick your goals, your wants, and ridiculous dreams over everything – because there not ridiculous at all, there just in arms reach. Travel the world, don’t worry too much about how you’ll manage it, you’ve managed so many unexpected things already and will continue to do so. Move somewhere new, try doing it all on your own. And more than anything, trust your gut. These are your years, and if you look closely it’s not really a gray zone at all it’s actually a bright beautiful glimpse of your life.

The Longest Lesson: Lessons of an Empowered Woman Written by Felicia Kopec