What 2021 Taught Me a Long the Way
Note: If you are listening to the audio version of this post I will be reading my article in perspective one first, then immediately in perspective two. If you are reading this post, I recommend following this same outline for the intended effect.
Perspective One
This year has been the hardest year so far.
365 days.
Not all of them were bad but I cried a lot; a lot more than I’d like to admit.
I started January 1st, 2021, off in Cabo thinking I was starting off the year with these big plans, expectations, hopes, a future with him.
January 16th, 2021, everything changed.
A single day changed the entire course of my life.
It’s amazing that one day can do so much damage.
From there I tried to re-invent my entire situation. I tried to paint him out of my life by redecorating, refocusing, adjusting to uncertainty.
I spent months trying to numb myself from the wake of damage surrounding me. Everywhere I turned was us.
May 7th, 2021, I met a stranger in Florida. We struck up a conversation, an interest, a flirtation, another damaging surprise.
May 30th, 2021, I left our home for good, and it broke me.
I moved back to the suburbs with my family, honestly depressed, lost, and unsure.
June 27th, 2021, I took off for Florida alone. A place I wasn’t even really sure I wanted to go.
But it was a fresh start, a beginning, it was hope.
It was a blur of newness, and excitement, fear and ambiguity all wrapped up in one.
July 21st, 2021, drinks with a stranger bloomed into a relationship destined to fail.
October 8th marked another end.
At the end of October, I sought out therapy anxious for help.
By November 12th, 2021, I moved from Fort Myers to Cape Coral. Another change, another restart. I was emotionally, physically, and seriously exhausted by this point.
Perspective Two
This year has been the bravest year so far.
365 days.
Not all of them were good but I laughed a lot; a lot more than I always remember.
I started January 1st, 2021, off in Cabo thinking I was starting off the year with these big plans, expectations, hopes, a future with him.
January 16th, 2021, everything began.
A single day changed the entire course of my life.
It’s amazing that one day can bring so much strength.
From there I began to reinvent my entire situation. I began to paint him out of my life by redecorating, refocusing, adjusting to uncertainty.
I spent months trying to save myself from the wake of damage surrounding me. Everywhere I turned was opportunity.
May 7th, 2021, I met a stranger in Florida. We struck up a conversation, an interest, a flirtation, another lesson learned.
May 30th, 2021, I left our home for good, and it changed me.
I moved back to the suburbs with my family, honestly proud, courageous, and supported.
June 27th, 2021, I took off for Florida alone. A place I wasn’t aware what would offer me.
But it was a fresh start, a beginning, it was hope.
It was a blur of newness, and excitement, fear and ambiguity all wrapped up in one.
July 21st, 2021, drinks with a stranger bloomed into a relationship destined to teach me.
October 8th marked another beginning.
At the end of October, I sought out therapy ready for understanding.
By November 12th, 2021, I moved from Fort Myers to Cape Coral. Another change, another restart. I was bold, tough, and seriously motivated by this point.
November 20th, 2021 was the first week I hadn’t cried in four straight months. Suddenly, I could feel the shift – the pain was subsiding.
December sailed in and I turned twenty-eight. And let me tell you, it was beautiful and wonderful, and I was completely happy. I felt loved, and light. A birthday I feared would be spent alone was spent with great friends and exciting moments that I embraced as healthy memories.
Suddenly dates I tied painful moments to weren’t the focus, and one day mid-December I woke up and I knew deep in my soul that I was healed ready to move forward in every aspect. I was ready to settle into my new life and embrace whatever comes next. This time I’m not afraid as I know I can handle what gets thrown at me. All the fear and pain and change lead me to believe in myself, trust in God, and know I have an army of people who love me even if they’re thousand miles away.
Today is the last day of 2021, it’s December 31st, and I’ve been writing this post since October, unsure how the end of the year would pan out. Afraid things wouldn’t get easier. I remember sitting down to write this and there was no perspective two at that time, there was no alternative to what I was going through in those moments.
2022 is only 10hrs away and I have no idea what this year will bring, but I know for a fact that I’m ready for it. I can now see all the beauty 2021 brought me. I got to swim with whale sharks in Cabo, I met so many amazing new people, I forgave those who never said sorry, I partied in Las Vegas, I set boundaries without feeling guilty, I moved across the country alone, I took deep breaths, I got pre-approved for my housing loan, I fell in love with myself, I danced in the streets of Dallas, I found a connection with God, I really put myself out there with my writing, I laughed, I cried, I grew, I healed.
Here is to the woman I’m going to be in 2022. May she be well dressed, successful, glowing, and happy.
Happy New Year!
The Longest Lesson: Lesson’s of an Empowered Woman is written by Felicia Kopec
One Comment
Fenzy.si
Great content! Keep up the good work!